DISCLAIMER, if you are very religious don’t read this series. Just don’t.
What I am about to share is just my personal journey. Whether it’s your natural hair journey, starting a business, or finding love, all of our journey’s are different. I wanted to share my spiritual journey because I think that the black community makes it seem taboo to believe in anything other than christianity. So I wanted to share this because it’s OKAY to question things and try something new!
SO! I was raised under the christian religion. I remember when I was in elementary school, my mother told me that we were going to start going to church on the regular. It was new, but everyone I knew went to church so it seemed like a normal thing. My parents dedicated their life to christ and so did I. I got baptized and I sung in the church choir. A few years later my mom became a minister and began preaching. It would be years and years later that I would find out that the entire reason why my parents started going to church, was because they were running from something and they believed if they prayed and preached, it would get better.
When I was 18 I looked at the ruins of my family and how it used to be so “normal” and “happy”. It was then that I realized that church wasn’t the answer. Now, letting go of christianity wasn’t easy AT ALL! My grandmother had just became a preacher and I have 2 uncles that are preachers as well. One has a church. So, you can imagine the sh*t storm that brewed when I started to dabble in other religions (more on that later).
I got married, and I had a daughter. When you start a family, you want what’s best for them so I tried church again. We went to a few but it just didn’t feel right. I couldn’t bare the thought of being this fake christian wholesome family, that underneath it all we were all super miserable. I saw that story too many times in my own life.
I never really understood church even as I grew up in it. I thought it was a bit absurd and I just could never really connect with the christian religion. I’ve never caught the holy ghost, I’ve never had a transcendent experience on Sunday’s. It just wasn’t for me. There are some really good churches that I have visited, and there are some great speakers. I love Joel Olsteen, his positivity is so sincere! But, christianity just wasn’t for me, and I would soon understand why I felt that way as I started on my spiritual journey….