Jordan Paterson said in one of his lectures that there are more differences within a cultural group than there are outside of a cultural group. I think that this statement is really true. Slavery, reconstruction, civil rights movement, black people have been fighting to be equal and understood for a very long time. In my 25 years of being a black female, I have come to the conclusion that as black people we have a lot of emotional pain that has been passed down to us, from slavery to the social media age. I work everyday to rid myself of this inherited baggage, but there are things that I want my daunters to know and understand about being a black woman:
- You are not better because you are of the lighter variety of black. I can’t tell you how many times that I was told that I had an advantage because I had lighter skin. I actually thought it was true until I experience my first spout of racism just like any other black person.
- All hair is good hair. I get sick of hearing women say things like “my baby gone have that good hair” or “I hope my baby don’t get that nappy hair from his daddy”. Little girls and boys grow up so self conscious about something that is so natural, like breathing, our hair just grows like that. My husband tells me stories of how he was picked on as a kid because he had tight corse curly hair. People would say things about his shrinkage that use to upset him. I’m glad he stuck with his loc’s though, they are so beautiful and healthy! Black hair is so versatile and amazing, I will always teach my girls to love their hair no matter what!
- Not every black woman is out to get you. The state of women, especially black women is pretty bad. The constant competition, shade throwing, and gossiping is at an all time high. Reality T.V shows don’t help the cause either. I loved Gabrielle Unions speech she gave at the 2013 Essence festival. The honest truth about black women is that we need each other now more than ever. I will teach my girls to that just because another women is shining, that does not mean that your light is dim. Always support and be confident!
- What is for you is for you! No one can take what is meant to be yours. There may be times when there are adversities. But trials come to make you stronger and to help you become the person that is ready to receive all the things that you have asked for.
- ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL! Gratitude has made a major difference in my life. I will teach my girls to always be grateful! (see my blog on gratitude!)
- Take time for yourself! As women we are natural nurturers, and sometimes we put others before ourselves. I will teach my girls to always put themselves first and to take time to do nice things for themselves.
What are somethings that you would want future generations to know? I would love to read your comments down below!